Only Human

A lot of things are weighing heavy on my heart today.

Some days I feel sooo strong, like I can get through anything, no matter how tough.

Sometimes I even feel really happy!

Other days, I feel like I just can't face the day.  That life is too hard.  And sometimes I even foolishly deceive myself into thinking that nobody really cares or understands. 

And, then comes the guilt....because wow, look at these wonderful blessings in my life- my children, friends and other family, a steady job, a safe apartment, a running car, etc.  Why can't that always be enough for me? Why do I think I need more?

But, then I remember that I'm only human.  And, that I have had a lot of big disappointments in life.

And maybe it's ok to cry about it sometimes for just a little while.

I don't like to let myself be vulnerable a lot because then I'm experiencing emotions and exposing myself to heartbreak.  So I don't often let my defenses down.  

But, maybe it is ok to not be tough all the time and allow myself to just be vulnerable.

But, I can't always be like that.

 I need to endeavor to turn my eyes away from my selfishness and look to Jesus who said this to Paul, "My grace is sufficient for you, for power is perfected in weakness..." with Paul's response, "I am well content with weaknesses, with insults, with distresses, with persecutions, with difficulties, for Christ’s sake; for when I am weak, then I am strong." 2 Cor. 12:9-10.

And I'm comforted to know that He is my strength when I just can't be strong.

"The LORD is my light and my salvation; whom shall I fear? the LORD is the strength of my life; of whom shall I be afraid?"  Psalm 27:1.