Unlovable

I've always struggled with self esteem issues.  I know what the Bible teaches about loving and treating others better than ourselves and I strive to do that.  1 Corinthians 13 paints a beautiful and convicting picture of how to truly love someone in the most selfless way.   

But, just because we put others first, does God want us to talk and think ugly about our own selves?  To tear ourselves down and be destructive?  But, we can be our own harshest critics.

There was a time I weighed a lot more than I do now (was about 50lbs heavier).  Here is one of the few pictures you will find from that era (I dodged cameras frequently). 

Somehow along the way, I forgot what was really important and starting judging myself and my worth based on superficial things and absolute lies.

I couldn't seem to understand or fathom how anyone could love me.

I forgot the words of Psalm 139:13-15, "For you formed my inward parts; you knitted me together in my mother's womb. I praise you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made. Wonderful are your works; my soul knows it very well. My frame was not hidden from you, when I was being made in secret, intricately woven in the depths of the earth."

And Luke 12:6-7, "Are not five sparrows sold for two pennies? And not one of them is forgotten before God. Why, even the hairs of your head are all numbered. Fear not; you are of more value than many sparrows."

I'm glad for health reasons that I was able to lose the weight, but that never was the real issue.  And, sadly, even now, sometimes I fall back into the same old trap- that false mindset that says I'm worthless and unlovable. Sometimes it happens when I make mistakes and it immediately takes me back to those feelings of inadequacy.  However, I need to stop listening to the devil's lies!

I need to remember Psalm 100:3, "Know that the Lord, he is God! It is he who made us, and we are his; we are his people, and the sheep of his pasture."

God made me, I am His!  How amazing is that?

And Ephesians 1:5-6, "He predestined us for adoption as sons through Jesus Christ, according to the purpose of his will, to the praise of his glorious grace, with which he has blessed us in the Beloved."

I belong to Him, He adopted me!

Isaiah 43:4, "Because you are precious in my eyes, and honored, and I love you..."

He loves me. 

I'm loveable. 

Thank you, Lord!

Unconditional

Sometimes people talk ugly about us or even say things that are not true.  

Or sometimes we can be guilty of listening to gossip about ourselves and believing it without verifying it (I've learned my lesson about this one-best to just disregard it)! 
 
I know it is really easy for me to just get upset and let it take over my day if I'm not careful.  But, the scriptures have a lot to say about how to handle these situations:

"We work hard with our own hands. When we are cursed, we bless; when we are persecuted, we endure it;" 1 Cor. 4:12.

"bless those who curse you, pray for those who mistreat you," Luke 6:28.

"Do not repay evil with evil or insult with insult. On the contrary, repay evil with blessing, because to this you were called so that you may inherit a blessing," 1 Peter 3:9.

"But I tell you, love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you," Matthew 5:44.

"Bless those who persecute you; bless and do not curse," Romans 12:14.

My takeaway from these scriptures is that I need to focus on working hard, enduring, praying, loving and trying to bless others however I can, regardless of how they treat me!  

I don't need to let bitterness or grudges resonate in my heart and rob me of joy.  I need to be able to freely forgive, hold on to peace (and make peace if need be) and choose happiness. 


Life is too short for anything else.